Michael's world

What if there's a fire?

2010-10-29T21:26:00.000-04:00

So, Thursday night Michael's school had a Halloween "Trunk or Treat" event. Chris was part of the set up and break down and had a few jobs to do which meant Michael was there with minimal supervision.

We let Michael walk around a bit on his own and went over some ground rules with him. Here's the conversation:

Chris: You know where the van is right and how to find your way back to the van?
Michael: Yes
Chris: You don't go on the other side of the cones no matter what! OK?
Michael: OK, but what if there's a fire? Then I would need to go on the other side of the cones, right?
Chris just shaking his head.

Would you jump off of a bridge if he did?

2010-10-28T21:23:00.000-04:00

So, Michael got in trouble in school for doing something he shouldn't have. While discussing it, he mentioned that "RJ and his brother did it too"

Chris set up an analogy of "If they jumped off the sunshine skyway, it doesn't mean you should do it to!"

What does my boy who has an answer for everything say......

without missing a beat....."Sure, I would...because I would have my parachute and a bubble suit to help break my fall"

Daddy I have an Idea...

2009-09-25T21:08:00.002-04:00

I need to set this up.
A few weeks ago we checked out a Scooby-Doo DVD from the library. One episode on the DVD was about a villain that was a counterfeiter who had a printing press in the basement of a haunted house.

A few days ago the TV was turned to a cable news channel, not CNN or MSNBC, and muted. It was a split screen of the President and the printing presses at a US mint printing $20 bills. Michael saw the image on TV.

So the stage is set; in comes our wise and curious sprog…

Michael: “ Dad I have an idea; I think Barack Obama is a counterfeiter”
Dad: “Well you are not far from the truth there…”

So the subject was dropped, until a week later when Granma and Papa came over . Michael told Grandma that Barack Obama “is a counterfeiter” and “he better not put any of that counterfeit money in his bank account”

I never knew political ideology was a genetic trait.

Michael-Scott in 2010, has more sense then most and is only 5 years old.

little known facts about werewolves and China

2009-07-16T18:21:00.001-04:00

Chris: So Michael what would you like to be for halloween
Michael: a werewolf
Chris: OK
Michael: yeah, a werewolf with a sock puppet
Chris: I didn't know werewolves wore sock puppet
Michael: they do in Chinese!

You just can't make this stuff up!

the Earth according to Michael

2009-04-15T11:52:00.003-04:00

I'm not sure what the obsession was with New York??? Africa is included because one of his classmates recently moved there and his class had been talking about it a lot.

should I take him to the dentist?

2009-04-12T08:12:00.000-04:00

Oma put the silly teeth in Michael's Easter Basket. He got the biggest kick out of wearing them.

something for the bunny

2009-04-11T09:09:00.000-04:00

We went on a train ride, hunted easter eggs, hay ride, and saw the bunny. After the hay ride everyone was getting back on the train. My sweet, sweet Michael says "Can I give the Easter Bunny a piece of candy?" He goes over and gives him a tootsie roll out of his basket.

Michael said it was because he was so nice to put out all those eggs for everyone to hunt.!!

He can be so sweet and thoughtful

I need a sign

2009-04-02T20:49:00.004-04:00

It was late the missus had put Michael to bed and told him only get up if you need to potty. Sitting in the living room we hear a crash. I get up and head to his room to find him standing next to his bed with a book in hand laying on the bed.

Now I'm am glad he likes books and enjoys being read to, but it is late.

I say: "What are you doing?"
Sprog: "I am picking up the book. It just fell of the shelf"
Me: "Oh did it now and I guess it just jumped right into your bed too."
Sprog: "Dad you know what I need, I need a sign on my door that says 'No Dad Allowed' so you stay out of my room"

Ooops I couldn't keep a straight face...wonder why.

Kindergarten

2009-04-02T13:58:00.002-04:00

So, at breakfast Michael and I are talking and we get on the subject of him turning 5 and going into Kindergarten and he says:

When I'm 5 and I'm in Kindergarten I'll wipe my own butt because they don't do that for you when you're in Kindergarten.

...............it's nice to know that he paid attention to something that we said (we are trying to get him to wipe his own butt and make the potty in general a more private thing.....ugh)

blvd

2009-03-10T10:35:00.002-04:00

On the way to school today, Michael read the street sign and new that the abbreviation blvd. means boulevard. His knowledge is simply amazing. He also asked what the numbers meant on the street sign. He's so inquisitive!

1st place

2009-03-06T13:20:00.003-05:00

Michael placed 1st in all of his races(50, 100, 200) on Wednesday. He was very proud of himself as are we.

Sir Milky

2009-03-01T11:41:00.003-05:00

Michael has dubbed Daniel "Sir Milky" since that is all that he eats.

Michael has been very eager to be able to feed Daniel. Michael was allowed to give Daniel a bottle today. He did a great job and was very proud of himself for feeding his little brother.

The witty one and heckler

2009-02-27T17:13:00.002-05:00

Act 1 (witty one)
My lovely wife got me a great t-shirt for Valentine’s Day. It is a simple black shirt with DILLIGAF on the front. For those reading and not in the know, DILLIGAF stands for “Does It Look Like I Give A F**k”

Today the wife and I were having a conversation about how someone at the office, in the know about DILLIGAF, took it, and trying to come up with less offensive versions of the acronym. My first try was “Does It Look Like I’m Fat” missing the all important letters of G and A. Then I tried “Does It Look Like I’m Good At Football” where by the oldest responds “no it says Does It Look Like I’m Good At Fartball” For almost 5 he is quick on the draw with his wit.

Act 2 (heckler)
We went to the Renaissance Festival a few days ago and while watching the “Mud Show”, where 2 guys wallow in mud and act out Shakespeare’s Richard the III, our marvelous older child shouted out, at just the right moment
“You are genius poopooheads”.
His banter got more laughs then the characters on stage.

Polygamy

2009-02-05T11:34:00.001-05:00

Michael told his dad that he was going to marry Aleks the other day and it was a secret.

He finally told me last night and then this morning in the car said it again followed by:

"I'm going to marry Josh, too and Ava" :P

....my little polygamist ::)

Daddy you know what I want for Christmas?

2009-02-03T20:46:00.003-05:00

So it's 45 minutes past bedtime and I hear noise from his room. I venture in and ask the sprog
Me: Why are you still awake? You need to get some sleep you have a big day tomorrow, you need to be rested for your first track meet.
Sprog: Daddy you know what I want for Christmas, something Mommy doesn't know about?
Me: No what is it?
Sprog: I want a hotair balloon and a real dragon, not a pretend one a real one, to blow it up with.
Me: Good night and go to sleep...you need me to turn out the light?
Sprog: No..good night Dad.

Where the heck does he get this stuff from, nevermind that ...where are we going to find a real dragon, not to mention a hotair balloon :D

Dinner Conversation

2009-02-03T18:11:00.002-05:00

Michael's preschool topic for the week is Florida. At dinner we were talking about different things in Florida....

We were talking about springs and when we went swimming with the manatees in the springs...
mom: ...springs bubble up...
sprog: Like the sea is farting?

We were talking about Clearwater being the lightning capital and that's where grandma and papa live.
mom: Do you think grandma has ever been struck by lighting?
sprog: Yup!

carrots

2009-01-09T20:45:00.001-05:00

Quote of the day!
"Mom, did you know if you eat lots of carrots that you'll be able to see my invisible friends"

Mommy you know what?

2008-12-18T09:42:00.002-05:00

Last night at dinner Michael looked at his mother and said: "Mommy you know what?"

Mom asked: "What?"

Michael: "Your boobie makes a good cushion."

naming the non-existant fish

2008-10-15T19:04:00.001-04:00

Michael: When I get a fish, I'm going to name HIM Wanda. (We're not getting a fish, Michael is just planning this all out!)
Chris: Wanda's a girl's name
Michael: How do you know that?

painting the baby's room

2008-10-14T21:06:00.002-04:00

Michael was talking about when we were going to paint the baby's room tonight. We told Michael that he could help. He's painted before since he helped with the painting of his room.

Michael suggested we paint the ceiling purple, and the walls green....................and blue. I told him he needed to discuss this with his dad, but that I didn't think dad would go for a purple ceiling!!! Yes, he still loves purple!!

food fight?

2008-08-24T12:08:00.003-04:00

Michael said that when Dad is gone he would like to go out in the backyard with me and have a food fight. He couldn't really explain why dad had to be gone other than dad wouldn't like it. (I guess somehow I approve of this kind of stuff.....at least he wanted it in the backyard!!)

soccer anyone?

2008-08-24T12:06:00.001-04:00

Michael asked while we were eating lunch when he could play soccer again.

I said, "You can play whenever you want to, let me know and I'll sign you up again"

Michael said, "Ok, when I'm 72 I'd like to do that"

:)

2008-08-09T21:22:00.001-04:00

The last two nights Michael has asked to read the book “Help Mom There are liberals under my bed”

So last night he asked what a liberal is.

My response was: “A liberal is a person who takes money from you, calling it a tax, and gives it to someone else because they think they know better then you how to spend it” (it was in keeping with the story in the book).

The second book he picked out was a “seek and find” book, and on one of the pages was a Gnome.

He asked what a Gnome does?

I said: “A Gnome lives in your garden and keeps the plants safe”

To which Michael said: “We need to buy one of those Gnomes and put it in our yard to keep the liberals away.”

Success he will soon grow up to be a good conservative!

My Gymnast

2008-05-21T23:41:00.000-04:00

upset and smart

2008-05-17T21:11:00.002-04:00

Micahel and I were in his room playing and he was trying to removed the beads that he "decorate" his bed with and put them on himself and they kept falling off of him to the ground.

Michael: Upset is when your trying to do something and it's not working.
Me: You're pretty smart. How did you get so smart?
Michael: I have lots of fruit in me because I eat a lot of fruit.

Peter and the wolf

2008-03-19T22:26:00.002-04:00

This is what michael read/recited to me tonight..it's the 1st page of the book before the story starts and has a round circle for each character with their picture in it and them playing the instrument.

Michael: " Peter and the Wolf is a musical fairy tale in which each character is played by a different instrument of the orchestra: Peter by the violins and all the string of the orchestra, the bird by the flute, the duck by the oboe, the cat by the....mom what is it again"

me: ...a clarinet

Michael: "....the cat by the clarinet, the grandfather by the...mom what is that again"

me: ...a bassoon..

Michael: "the grandfather by the bassoon, the wolf by the french horns, the hunters and their gunshots by the kttldrums.....how do you say it

me: "...kettledrums...

Michael: "the hunters and their gunshots by the kettledrums and the big bass drum."

along with several other quotes throughout the book, but this monologue really floored me!

Thought I'd share!

on a roll...

2008-03-06T19:25:00.002-05:00

Michael: Is it raining out?
Daddy: Yes
Michael: Is it raining at my school?
Daddy: Yes
Michael: Is it raining in California?

Michael: "Don't worry Daddy I won't pinch your boobie, they're not HUGE like mommy's"
.............now we are finally worried about what he might say at preschool

Another sprogism....

2008-01-16T18:48:00.000-05:00

Me: How's that ice cream cone?

Sprog: As good as you think it is!

what does 50 degrees in FL look like?

2008-01-02T14:28:00.001-05:00

Michael insisted on wearing his Buzz Lightyear hat, gloves, and scarf to make it from the car to the building today. Such a FL boy! (Way cute though!)

My Little Factoid

2008-01-02T12:27:00.000-05:00

We went to Great Explorations today by request of Michael. Upon entering one of the workers there had a snake out and we were allowed to touch the snake. Of course the snake's tongue came out. Here's the conversation that happened:

Me: "Michael, did you see his tongue?"
The Lady: "Snakes use their tongues to smell"
...without skipping a beat
Michael:"Just like a kimodo dragon"

the lady was quite impressed with Michael and how flawlessly he delivered that little fact. So was I for that matter, but I knew that he knew that bit of information. It always amazes me when he makes connections like that!

Cookies for Edie

2008-01-01T21:47:00.000-05:00

We made some cookies for a friend today. It amazes me how helpful and fun Michael can be in the kitchen.

You'd neve be able to tell that he had the grandest meltdown this morning over who knows what (low blood sugar is what I think!)

2007-12-28T14:43:00.000-05:00

We took Michael with us to Bonefish Grill tonight. We had a 1/2 hour + wait for our table. Michael and I went over to watch 3 boys that were skateboarding in the parking lot to pass some of the time. Turns out one was a former student of mine (just did FCAT testing), but remembered me none the less and was very friendly.

We get seated and they are busy. We are passing the time with Michael by coloring on the butcher block paper the cover the table with. I brought a Cars coloring book with stickers and Michael is fairly amused with it. We eat our dinner and Michael and I decide to share dessert. While waiting Michael goes into a round of knock-knock jokes:

knock-knock
who's there?
dwayne
dwayne who?
dwayne the bathtub I'm dwowning in here ...............(papa taught him this one!)

knock-knock
who's there?
cows
cows who?
cows don't who the moo silly! (I taught him this one! :) )

He manages to execute them flawlessly when people walked by.

It was really nice to receive so many complements that night. Even the waitress commented how well behaved he was.

Compliments Please!!!

2007-12-26T14:50:00.000-05:00

We went to a financial advisor today to move some investments around and had to take Michael with us since Grandma had an appointment at the same time.

On the way there we fed Michael a blueberry scone from Starbucks (he had just eaten breakfast a 1/2 hour prior!)
We brought some color wonder markers and a new Cars coloring book that Michael had gotten for Christmas.

Michael lasted almost a full hour on the floor coloring. He colored a picture for me and one for Chris and one for "Steve" the financial advisor.

After we left, Chris forgot to get a parking stubs validated. When he went back in he recieved some really nice complement on how well behaved and polite Michael was. It's good to know we're doing something right!

Devastating

2007-12-14T21:52:00.000-05:00

Grandma and Papa watched Michael tonight and we went out to my work Christmas party. We came home to devastating news.
http://www.abcactionnews.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=0d1cbcf8-46db-43b1-bc7d-192411e5cf39&rss=794

I will NEVER understand how someone could be so selfish. Michael played with both kids at Playtime Express in Dunedin and Chris used to go to Dad's night out with Michael which was hosted at Playtime Express by Oliver Bernsdorf.

Counting in German

2007-12-03T21:55:00.000-05:00

We captured Michael counting in German! He's been able to do it for a while now. He can always amaze us!

flying cows

2007-10-24T18:19:00.000-04:00

daddy: "michael, when are you going to stop peeing in your bed?"

Michael: "when the cows go flying!"

...............you just can't make this suff up!

The fish

2007-10-14T18:40:00.000-04:00

We were coming home from dinner. I asked Michael if he wanted to walk down and feed the fish OR watch the baracuda part in Finding Nemo(he asked for this earlier)

Michael: "I want to go feed the fish"

a few minutes later..............

Michael: "I want to watch the baracuda part. The fish at the pond told me they weren't hungry!"

Michael reading to me

2007-09-17T23:40:00.000-04:00

such a sweetie

2007-09-17T23:29:00.000-04:00

Michael insisted on bringing his teacher some of MY flowers this morning. He helped pick some flowers out at the grocery store yesterday. This morning he insisted that he bring them to his teacher. We compromised and I let him take two stems to her.

He's such a sweetie.

Sproggy Quotes...

2007-09-05T20:59:00.000-04:00

A bird left its droppings on the car window and the sprog asks:

"What made the bird think the green car is a potty?"

The Bandaid

2007-08-22T22:03:00.000-04:00

After Michael got out of the bath last night, he was still naked and we were goofy around tickling him and such. dh gave him a tap on the butt and he said "you gave me a butt blister, I need a bandaid"....so he went into the bathroom, got a bandaid, unwrapped it and Put in on his butt right in the middle over his crack!!! ....I have pictures to prove it!

The copy machine

2007-08-20T22:05:00.000-04:00

I took Michael to work with me this morning since his preschool was closed. We brought several toys and even a movie to occupy Michael, but he seems to like the copy machine best. So, to keep him entertained I would get things together for one set of copies, go back to my classroom, so a few thing, then get set for another group of copies...(getting ready for the 1st day you know!!!)

Anyways, so everyone's doing copies and there's a line since we only have 2 (well, really one) copier for all 60 of us to use (at once!). There was a line. Michael and I cut across and used the one that (we're really not supposed to use that much) no one was using it! So we went first. We finished our copies and went back to the room did a few thing.

On our 2nd visit to the copier, there again was a line (for both copiers this time). Michael walked right up to the person on the copier that we had used before and said "I was here first"

I was mortified. Everyone around us was cracking up. I didn't even know the person he said this to (Come to find out she's a new teacher and her classroom is down the hall from me!)...luckily she has a good sense of humor and a 15 month old!!!

1st day of preSCHOOL

2007-08-13T08:11:00.000-04:00

Michael was so excited this morning. He usually watches a "little show" (30 min TV program) in the morning. He had dad turn the TV off and headed out the door. He was ready!!!!

The Candy Machine

2007-08-10T20:13:00.000-04:00

We went out to eat at Winner's tonight. They of course put us near the video games and such. We decided Michael could do the candy machine. While Chris went out to the car for 50 cents, Michael explained how the candy machine worked:

Michael:"1st you put the money in here (points to the coin slot),
then the scoop spins around,
then you push the button,
then the it does down and scoops up the candy,
then it drops it in here(pointing),
then you get it out of here(pointing),
then you rip the plastic off,
THEN YOU POP IT IN YOUR MOUTH!!!"

He's too much!

Clutzy Papa

2007-07-10T16:11:00.001-04:00

Michael and I are cleaning up and I take my laptop off of the coffee table and put it in the carry case I have for it.

Me: "I'll put my laptop away"
Michael:"Yeah, before Gary breaks it"

Now, Papa (aka Gary) has only ever broken one thing in our house....the glass to a picture frame, but apparently it left quite an impression on Michael.

shooting boogers

2007-07-09T14:21:00.000-04:00

We took Michael to MOSI yesterday. His favorite part? Shooting boogers in the giant nose and then the nose sneezing!

Jesus Chwist

2007-07-06T09:11:00.000-04:00

So last night the sprog came out of his room to trade Geena the Giraffe for the stuffed dolphin on the living room table. I heard a thud and he showed up in the kitchen hold Geena in one hand and dolphin in the other...I asked him what happened and he said

"Jesus Chwist I hit my head on my bedwoom doow"

He then handed me Geena and toodeled back to bed.

Difficult

2007-06-30T11:21:00.000-04:00

Me: What's the matter Michael?
Michael: I have a difficult!

a few minutes later

Michael: I fixed it. I don't have a difficult anymore.

:)

Shopping!

2007-06-26T14:04:00.000-04:00

Michael and I were out running errands.

We went to exchange one of his birthday presents at Walmart. It had a missing piece. The lady refunded the $$ on a gift card instead....so a shopping we went.

Michael decided he wanted something different than the original present(which was good because I looked and they didn't have another one!) and choose a CARS mini race track (it's really cute!)...well he still had money left so we shopped some more. He also piced out a View Master....he still had money left. He choose 2 packages of Play Doh tools. He also picked out a book(he's still a bookworm!).

We get up to the register and he puts the items on the conveyer belt. He's so excited. He tells the cashier "we got 5 things" I guess he was pretty impressed that he returned one and got 5(his favorite number!).

Our last errand was to pick up a couple of things for Dad's upcoming birthday. We were in the car having this conversation:

Me: Michael we have one more stop to get something for dad's birthday.
Michael: OK, Does Dad like sharks?

I guess Michael is planning on getting him some sharks for his birthday!

The Bus is Leaving!

2007-06-11T20:06:00.000-04:00

so, Michael and I went to Music with Mar today. We met up with a little girl from Michael's daycare and her mom. After the music class we made plans to meet at the park for a little playdate. We are getting ready to leave:

The little girl's mom: "The bus is leaving. Let's go"

Michael and the little girl both quickly head to the door and are ready to go. They play around on the steps abit and then we set off for our seperate cars.

Michael: "I don't see the bus. Where is it?"

I then proceeded to explain to Michael that there was no bus. It was just her way of saying we were leaving. After the 5 minute car ride...

Michael: "Where's the bus?"

UGH!

The Cake

2007-06-11T16:26:00.000-04:00

Grandma and Grandpa were watching Michael for a little bit. Grandma got Michael a snack out of the refrigerator. Michael was in the living room taking apart his fish puzzle when there was a beeping noise from the kitchen.

g-ma and papa: Michael what's that noise?
Michael: I don't know

They all went into the kitchen.

Michael: The cake must be done!

(It was the refrigerator beeping because the door wasn't shut all the way)

Disney World "what I want to do"

2007-06-06T20:36:00.000-04:00

This evening as I, dad, put the sprog to bed he began to tell me about Disney World. He has only been there once and not even in the park proper, just at a resort and breakfast with the characters. He has seen a special about Disney Worlk on the Travel Channel.

He told me that he wanted to see the Haunted House but didn't want to go inside because "it is scary". He then told me he was going to fly a plane at disney since that was safe "because it has seat belts and buttons"

Are You Kidding?

2007-06-05T17:27:00.000-04:00

Michael found some ladies at the pool to show off for and chat with. While chatting them up the one lady would say to Michael "Are you kidding?" (just playing with him). Michael turned it around on her after she commented on the water asking her "Are you kidding?"

Backseat Driver

2007-05-31T14:32:00.000-04:00

So, this morning I needed to go get allergy shots before swim lessons. On the way there, my backseat driver tells me "slow down, you're going too fast. You're going to hit that truck!" (I'm on a road with a 45 mph speed limit, it's morning traffic and I'm only doing like 40 mph). Lucky for my backseat driver the light ahead was red and we were slowing down.

Later on on the way back from the aquarium:
Me: "Look at the truck next to us, it has two trailers. What do you think it has in the trailers?" (the truck has absolutely nothing descriptive anywhere on it)

Michael: "It has snacks for the cows"

(so what do cows snack on anyways?!)

I finally asked him what cows snack on. His reply: "Leaves!"

such imagination

2007-05-30T12:27:00.000-04:00

Michael spied his Buzz Lightyear costume from last Halloween in the closet. He asked to put it on. We played Buzz and Star Command(yep, that's me!) for about an hour including through lunch which worked quite nicely. "Buzz, this is Star Command," "Your lunch is ready." While playing "Buzz" it is a requirement to talk into your wrist. He has quite an imagination.

Wake Up!

2007-05-21T23:29:00.003-04:00

sometime in 2007? maybe.

THIS is how to wake up daddy!